


He Considered to Jump

by aruhime



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Angst, Evak - Freeform, Fluff, I'm Sorry, Kinda, M/M, angst with happy ending, basically me shitposting, not good description of depressed feeling, post ep 10, soft, suicidal thought, tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-12
Updated: 2017-04-12
Packaged: 2018-10-18 01:34:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10606563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aruhime/pseuds/aruhime
Summary: He considered to jump, to the vastness of deep blue water, to a spot with ray of sunshine, to the dirty, soiled place with scattered glass, to the greyish stone that almost vanished from the sea water’s corrosion.





	

He considered to jump, to the vastness of deep blue water, to a spot with ray of sunshine, to the dirty, soiled place with scattered glass, to the greyish stone that almost vanished from the sea water’s corrosion. Thousand of butterfly fled around his bellies, tickling his skin beneath the thin cloth he wore. The butterflies seemed like asking him, tempting him to jump, forcing his feet to left the wooden floor He had been standing on all this time. He had to jump, to anywhere, everywhere, it didn’t matter. As long as He could die, it was all that matter.

Instead, he jumped into something else. He felt the welcoming heat of that something when he jumped, blinding him into a soulless creature without direction, completely giving himself to be guided by whatever he jumped into. He opened his eyes to only met an illusion of his dream; another boy, with light, wavy hair that curls beautifully behind his head. Turned out that the welcoming heat, __or now he prefer the welcoming warmth__ , was from him.

This was more scary, he thought, than the baseless ocean. At least the water couldn’t make his heart broke into microscopic dusts. Water couldn’t speak; it couldn’t judge anything, it couldn’t criticize anything. He preferred the ocean, he swore to everything he looked up to, rather than this one boy. The waves was suddenly thousand times more comforting; with the sound of the shore and the cries of seagulls.

He was about to pull out from his jump when he heard the boy’s heart beat. It resembles the waves, the shore, and the seagulls; all mixed into one single sound.

The butterflies kept flying, still tickling his belly, but instead of thin clothes, he realised that he wore a thick padded jacket with a layer of sweatshirt under it, and a black t-shirt underneath it all. His eyes flickered to the empty air below his hand, searching for the butterfly, but he found nothing. Instead he heard the shoes stepping closer, slow but steady and clear.

He searched himself in those green eyes, trying to got himself up from it, but failing easily. He was already drowned, he fucked up, he couldn’t get out. He could see himself drowning, but instead of asking, crying help, he looked relieved. The stepping sound was getting close, it cracked the thin layer of ice beneath his shoes. He could imagine it, the cracked thin ice, steadily broken.

Now the other boy was close enough for both of them to feel each other's body heat. He kept searching himself in the other’s eyes; was he fine? Was he not? Would he busted at that exact moment, knowing that he already crushed into fragment inside. This was not what he wanted; he chose not to care any more, he was willing to pull out and never came back. Instead he found himself drawing closer to the other boy, as he felt the softness of his face when they brushed their nose together.

“You are not alone,” the boy whispered when they stood close enough, his breath ghosting in front of his face, blended with the night’s crispy air. The sentence mingled in the air for a second or two before it dinged something inside his head.

He considered to jump, and now he risked himself to jump into this boy’s soft, warm lips; the ice beneath their feet still cracked slightly when they moved together. It was nothing like the vastness of the deep blue water, or the spot with ray of sunshine, or the dirty, soiled place with scattered glass, or the greyish stone that almost vanished from the sea water’s corrosion. This was a thousand more comforting, more tender than those sweet cotton candy.

He felt the butterflies again, underneath his thick jacket, but this time they didn’t encourage him to die. They smile along with him; perhaps they felt the sunshine glowing within this boy’s small figure. They were still flying, still circling his belly, and, somehow congratulating him. It was ridiculous, he later thought, but he didn’t mind a single bit.

Even had made a right choice, to jump into Isak’s arm and not into the dark abyss with whoever lived inside it. He could worry about anything else later. He could deal with the protesting sound behind his mind later; all that mattered now that Even was with Isak, inside his feeble yet steady arm. He closed his eyes, letting himself drowned once again in the younger’s inviting warmth.

**Author's Note:**

> First time writing Even and Isak's fanfiction -mostly because I'm bored and have nothing to do. This is the scene when Isak ran from the church to met Even, I'm sure you know the scene by heart already *wink*  
> Please tell me what you think, and if I did anything offensive, pls let me know! Takk!


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